Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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