oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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