Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
