I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
