We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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