Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
