I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
