i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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