Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Be still, my beating vagina.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
