so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
