I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
