KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
