dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
