Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
