I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
