The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
