How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
