You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
