I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
