did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
