how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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