dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
