ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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