If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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