we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
