walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
this hospital has no fireball
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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