Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
