Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
