I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
