Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
