you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
