Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
