i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
