if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I intend to get homeless drunk
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
