Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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