just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
