we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
