there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
