My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wish you could order shots online.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
