Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
MIDGETS
????
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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