rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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