O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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