No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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