They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
