Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
