wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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