Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
