Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
