Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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