I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
