Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
