I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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