dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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