i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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