I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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